Following the simile and metaphor ideas in WALKING THROUGH A FOREST OF IMAGERY, artist Jess Palmer sent me this photograph of a 'tree in a string vest'.
I decided to write a poem modelled on James' Reeves THE SEA, using an extended metaphor and the same structure and rhyme scheme.
Scroll down to see how the first draft took shape.
structure: 3 stanzes of 9 lines, 5 lines and 6 lines
When is a piece of writing finished? There are still plenty of things about this piece of writing that I'm not happy with. I concentrated on sticking to James Reeves' rhyme scheme, but paid little attention to line length, beats per line, emphasis and so on.
The finished poem / final draft
THE TREE IN A STRING VEST
The tree is a weary man
Taking a break
He gives his thin arms a good shake
Then he strips to his vest in the steaming heat
The air’s caress on his torso’s so sweet.
And this erstwhile fashionable tree
Feels shabby but pleasantly free
For the old have the wisdom to see
That to covet fine clothes is conceit.
Ah, but once he was dapper and neat!
He was always immaculately dressed
In an ivy waistcoat and a cape of moss
He was widely esteemed as a forest boss
His leaf hankies impeccably pressed.
Though his string vest is comfy and cool
The copse calls him Frowzy old fool
(Some wisecracking poplars especially cruel
As though they are the upscale elite.)
He mutters rude comebacks he won’t repeat
He’s far too lofty to be indiscreet.