Following the simile and metaphor ideas in WALKING THROUGH A FOREST OF IMAGERY, artist Jess Palmer sent me this photograph of a 'tree in a string vest'.
I decided to write a poem modelled on James' Reeves THE SEA, using an extended metaphor and the same structure and rhyme scheme. Scroll down to see how the first draft took shape. |
structure: 3 stanzes of 9 lines, 5 lines and 6 lines
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When is a piece of writing finished? There are still plenty of things about this piece of writing that I'm not happy with. I concentrated on sticking to James Reeves' rhyme scheme, but paid little attention to line length, beats per line, emphasis and so on.
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The finished poem / final draft
THE TREE IN A STRING VEST The tree is a weary man Taking a break He gives his thin arms a good shake Then he strips to his vest in the steaming heat The air’s caress on his torso’s so sweet. And this erstwhile fashionable tree Feels shabby but pleasantly free For the old have the wisdom to see That to covet fine clothes is conceit. Ah, but once he was dapper and neat! He was always immaculately dressed In an ivy waistcoat and a cape of moss He was widely esteemed as a forest boss His leaf hankies impeccably pressed. Though his string vest is comfy and cool The copse calls him Frowzy old fool (Some wisecracking poplars especially cruel As though they are the upscale elite.) He mutters rude comebacks he won’t repeat He’s far too lofty to be indiscreet. |